Anxiety, at its core, is a survival mechanism—a set of alarm bells ringing in our bodies, alerting us to perceived threats. It's not just a mental phenomenon, it’s deeply rooted in our physical being. Understanding the somatic origins of anxiety can provide profound insights into why we feel the way we do and how we can better manage these feelings.
Our bodies remember. They hold onto experiences, especially painful ones, and develop mechanisms to protect us from reliving those traumas. This is where anxiety often stems from. It is the body's way of saying, ‘Something similar to a past hurtful event might happen. Be on guard.’ Though initially beneficial to keep you on alert to potential harm, this protective measure can become a barrier, preventing us from experiencing life fully.
Imagine your body holding onto the patterns of pain like metaphorical scars. Our subconscious develops these neurological patterns of shape recognition to always search for what past experience most resembles the current one to protect you from potential harm. Vienna Pharaon, a licensed marriage and family therapist, captures this beautifully: "Our bodies carry the imprints of past experiences. The anxiety we feel is often our younger self trying to protect us from a pain we once endured." This perspective shifts the narrative from seeing anxiety as an enemy to viewing it as a message from a younger, more vulnerable part of ourselves.
To begin the journey of overcoming anxiety, we must start by listening to our bodies. This means paying attention to the physical sensations that accompany anxiety. When your heart races, your muscles tense, or your breath becomes shallow, these are not just random symptoms but communications from your body. Terry Real, a renowned psychotherapist, explains that our nervous system develops in response to our environment, especially during our formative years. If we face significant stress or trauma, our system might be on high alert, ready to respond to any perceived threat. "Anxiety is not a malfunction; it's a strategy," Real asserts. It's the body's way of saying, "I am trying to keep you safe based on what I've learned."
Listening to your body involves more than just recognizing the signals; it requires approaching them with curiosity rather than fear. When you notice these sensations, ask yourself:
What is my body trying to tell me?
What past experiences might be influencing my current feelings?
Reducing the impact of anxiety also requires a committed focus on stepping outside of your ego and looking at your emotions from a third-party perspective. This is where the wisdom of Ethan Kross, author of "Chatter," becomes invaluable. He discusses the importance of distancing ourselves from our inner dialogues to gain clarity and control. Kross states, "When you step outside yourself and view your problems from an outsider's perspective, it helps you gain distance and provides a new vantage point on your life." By observing our anxiety from a distance, we can better understand its origins and reduce its grip on our lives.
When we are truly able to step away from our inner voice and see it as part of the protections we have created, we see that much of our anxiety is centered on trying to foresee, predict, and control what's going to happen. But the control we are seeking doesn't exist. There is no way to make the future any less uncertain, and our resistance to that reality is what creates anxiety. That is what creates fear. Most of it isn't even a fear about a specific thing. It's just the anxiousness of not knowing, of what might happen and that fear can be paralyzing. We overcome that by welcoming the unknown and trusting that no matter what happens, we will learn and grow. It's this curiosity that helps us overcome the critical self-judgement we inflict on ourselves for what could have been if we had simply done things a little differently.
In contrast, imagine how easily we offer support and kindness to a friend in need, comforting them with encouraging words and reminding them of their inherent worth. We find it difficult to extend that same compassion to ourselves, believing we should have been better. This contrast stems from our tendency to lack empathy for our own experiences, often influenced by the historical patterns in our lives pulling the strings. We inherently see potential in others that we fail to see in ourselves. When it's our turn to face challenges, that inner voice can become overwhelmingly negative and harsh, driven by past experiences and fears. Instead of offering ourselves the same supportive dialogue, we get caught up in self-criticism and doubt, shaped by the patterns we've internalized over the years that often stem from overly critical or emotionally burdened figures from our childhood.
This negativity is deeply rooted in our human nature. Psychological research shows that our fear of loss and negative experiences is twice as powerful as our desire for positive ones. This phenomenon, known as loss aversion, means we are more likely to dwell on failures and shortcomings than celebrate our successes. These fears and negative thoughts are amplified by the historical patterns in our lives, making it even harder to be kind to ourselves. The critical inner voice becomes a defense mechanism, attempting to shield us from potential pain, but often, it only perpetuates the cycle of self-criticism, making our anxiety self-fulfilling.
This difference in perspective reveals an important insight: we need to learn to step outside of our own inner dialogue and view ourselves with the same empathy and understanding we offer to others. By doing so, we can begin to heal and grow, transforming our relationship with ourselves and finding the strength and resilience we so easily recognize in those we care about. This shift in perspective allows us to break free from the historical patterns that no longer serve us and embrace a more compassionate self-view.
Stepping away from your inner dialogue is crucial in overcoming anxiety and finding peace. It's about recognizing that you are not your inner voice; you are the awareness that observes it. Anthony de Mello, a spiritual teacher, often spoke about the transformative power of awareness. He believed that true freedom comes from understanding that our thoughts and emotions do not define us. By distancing ourselves from our inner chatter, we gain clarity and perspective, a point beautifully stated by de Mello, "What you are aware of, you are in control of; what you are not aware of, is in control of you." This profound insight emphasizes the importance of becoming an observer of our thoughts rather than a captive of them. When we see our inner dialogue for what it is—an automatic, often critical narrative shaped by past experiences—we can choose to engage with it more mindfully, reducing its power over our emotional state. This awareness allows us to respond to life's challenges with greater calm and resilience, fostering a deeper sense of self that is not tethered to the fluctuations of our mental landscape.
Practices like meditation can be incredibly beneficial in this process. Developing the ability to pause and observe your inner voice helps you identify its existence outside of your own identity, allowing you to stay present and connected to your body. The ability to step away from your thoughts reduces the intensity of anxiety over time. By regularly engaging in these practices, you can train your body to respond differently to stressors, creating new patterns of calm as you encounter triggering experiences. Building this calm inner space will eventually allow you to become more aware of the patterns you have developed and enable you to build healthier coping strategies. It shouldn’t be your goal to never feel negative emotions, that’s an impossible task and refusing to feel them would deprive us from the human experience. It’s in breaking free from our identification with negative feelings that we find growth.
What I’ve learned most about anxiety is that it’s not just a mental state but a somatic experience deeply rooted in our past. By creating space from our emotions and listening to our bodies, we can begin to transform our relationship with anxiety. It’s about recognizing it as a protective mechanism from our past selves and learning to navigate it with compassion and awareness. It’s critical to build daily routines that allow your body to be heard, to return to a place of calm through meditation, exercise, prayer, or any other methodology that connects mind to body. As we do, we can move from a state of constant alarm to one of greater peace and resilience, honoring the wisdom our bodies hold and paving the way for a more fulfilling life.
I totally agree with your perspective and insights. However, I think sometimes it takes more than just meditation, exercise, prayer, etc. Sometimes we can't do it on our own and we need to understand that and not be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes it takes a professional that you totally trust. It helps to have someone to talk to and give feedback in order to help you look deeper to understand and heal.